Is therapy necessary?
Therapy need not be a major undertaking, still, it mostly takes some courage to make a start. One might wonder if things wont resolve themselves, whether all the attention does not open up issues that might have been better left alone.
Whether we recruit the help of a therapist or not, our minds will still continuously put a lot of energy into dealing with our internal dynamics, effectively or ineffectively. We might mull things over and over, revert to old habits again and again, and keep up the destructive behaviours in our relationships, pouring energy into these efforts to no avail.
A bit of self care, dealing with our internal landscapes more effectively, making progress even if slowly, can make a big difference over time.
Sometimes the independent viewpoint of a therapist can help one identify otherwise blind spots and allow quick progress. Or using a dedicated technique such as BWRT can bring relief from traumatic experiences quickly.
We can benefit so much by understanding our habits: important patterns of thinking, acting and somatic responses that might have formed without us really wanting it that way. Big stressful events or the effect of many smaller bumps and jolts of going about life can be at the root of us finding ourselves less happy than we deserve.
Therapy is about ways to find what we ideally want, and to figure out what is missing or not working.
In a calm and safe space we take our time to find the meaning of our experience (why is this happening) and to discover our resources to live the way we want to.
This will often touch on various conditions, such as anxiety, depression or self-defeating behaviour patterns.
We bring special parts of ourselves to our intimate relationships, and often find things go maddeningly off from what we expected. Simple things can get complicated in a relationship.
We look at how the need for a special partner often frustratingly goes off on the wrong tracks.
Even though being in a relationship is both a gift and a life long job, much can be achieved by putting some basics in the right place. And then continue from there. We can line up how each partner strives to satisfy their special desires within a pattern of communication and understanding between them.
I started as a registered Clinical Psychologist 40 years ago, working in the training environment of the University of Stellenbosch, both in the Faculty of Psychology and at the Medical school. My career then diverged into organisational psychology and beyond. I recently renewed my focus on therapy with individuals and couples.
I am registered with the HPSCA as Clinical Psychologist and my practice is based at Paardevlei Therapy Centre in a tranquil setting between Somerset West and Strand.
I believe each of us has the capacity to be happy and fulfilled, both in our individual roles and as part of relationships, and especially the relationship with our primary life partners. However sometimes complications happen and we lose track. But we all have a smart inner wisdom which can be trusted to put the parts together again, sometimes with help. My approach is to work as a guest partner in the therapeutic relationship, rediscovering and restoring these unique capacities together.
Cost per Session: R950+
HPCSA Number: PS 0012300
Practice Number: 8604959
- Unit 2 Tonquani House